gemini

everything i see is a duality
kind of like how i wanted to hate you,
how i wanted to love you.
my nature was to do neither
and both

there has been a lot of disappearing lately
dogs into dust and men into water
solidity giving way to
a swirling whirlpool of ceaseless future-tide.

it angers me how much you knew
seemingly without knowing anything
and yet i find that was what made you special.
that was what lifted my hand for you
on the friday before you left. i think
maybe it was what lifted all of our hands.

you are not the first, not the last
in a long line of those with whom
i won't have enough time.

and it is fitting but it pains me--and all at once
brings me a weird pleasure--that i could miss
really saying goodbye for something
so simple and mundane
as washing my hands.