yellow

we part ways in front of bobby's apartment
the black takes you warm, arm in arm
and i don't look back

where do i find this beauty?
is it in the sharpness of your rejection
and the bite of the blue wind who walks me home?
the subtle sounds of his lips touching your forehead
or two hands clasping? my child-like confusion
at misunderstanding all of this? most of all,
i am embarrassed at how i blinded myself.

does something shine in the way
i could kick myself for still vying for your affection?
unseen purple bruises to color my skin.

no.

it blossoms,
the head of a yellow lily
brightening the night

where i am a masochist, opening out--
it is seeded in the lining of the repression
that disguises me in the skin of a grow-up.